Year of birth
Transman à FtM (Female to Male)
E-mail / phone / WhatsApp / Text Message / personal conversation
Mountain biking, soccer, making- & listening to music, learning languages, traveling.
Junk, injustice, people switching rows at a store’s checkout, cilantro, people pretending to answer their phone in their voicemail.
Gender dysphoria, social & medical transition, divorced parents, bullying, non-accepting parent, difficult home situation.
The Story of my Life
In retrospect, I have always known that I am a boy, just not born with the body of one. Up to and including primary school, this never caused any problems. My expression was “boyish” and therefore I had more boys as friends. In the schoolyard I always participated in soccer and I never came home with clean pants. From the moment I could talk, I indicated that I wanted to wear boys’ clothes. My parents were fine with that.
The penny didn’t drop until I started to get breasts and went to high school. Then I felt “this isn’t right.” Through the ‘Puberruil’ (adolescent exchange) episode of Gwennos, I found out that this term “transgender” belongs to me. Afterwards, I was glued to YouTube for three days straight to learn as much as possible about this subject. Having the feeling, that you “found” yourself is indescribable. A weight fell off my shoulders. Unfortunately, I was bullied in high school. I was called names in the hallways, they waited for me at the bathroom, I got food thrown at me and my bicycle was destroyed. Fortunately, that all stopped after I trusted a teacher, who I told everything about the incidents.
When I was 14, I told my parents my story through a letter with the support of the school doctor. Since then, I’ve been in the transitioning process at the VU Medical Centre. During for my identity, I had an enormous need to share experiences with, and ask questions to guys like me. GO (Genderkid & Parent, formerly Berdache, part of Transvisie), helped me with that. They organize afternoons with activities where both young people (13 to 18) and parents can talk to each other. The other guys who were further along in the process, helped me a lot. I could also ask all my questions there, nothing was too crazy. These ‘Youth Days’ have helped me so much in the quest to my identity, that I later became a volunteer myself. I noticed, that being the person I needed when I was younger, gave me great satisfaction. Someone who helps you with all your questions, who offers a listening ear and where no question is too crazy. ‘Hojokamp’ has helped me enormously in the realization that you’re only doing a transition for one person, yourself. Partly because of my experiences at Hojokamp and the satisfaction I received from GO, I’ve chosen my own path.
Sinds mijn 18e mocht ik zelf tekenen voor operaties en testosteron en ben ik dan ook mijn transitie gestart. Helaas was dit niet eerder mogelijk omdat mijn vader mijn medische transitie in de weg stond. Inmiddels heeft mijn vader ook ingezien dat dit de weg is die ik moet gaan. Hoewel hij af en toe nog minder intelligente opmerkingen maakt, gaat ook hij met stappen vooruit. Doordat ik meer voor mezelf op durfde te komen heb ik ook geen last meer van het pestgedrag. Natuurlijk zul je altijd minder ondersteunende mensen tegenkomen, maar daar heb ik ook mee om leren gaan. Nu ik mijzelf gevonden heb zou ik het heel leuk vinden om naast GO ook nog via Hojobuddy jongeren te ondersteunen met de zoektocht naar zichzelf.
When I was 18, I was allowed to sign for surgeries and testosterone myself, so I started my transition. Unfortunately, this was not possible before because my father got in the way of my medical transition. Meanwhile, my father has also realized that this is ‘the way to go’, for me. Although he makes less-accepting comments from time to time, he is moving forward, with little steps. Because I dared to stand up for myself, I no longer suffered from bullying. Of course, you will always meet less supportive people, but I learned to deal with that too. Now that I’ve found myself, I would really like to support young people in their search for their identity or sexuality through ‘Hojobuddy’.